Monday, July 31, 2006

People Against Glass - For a glass free tomorrow.

So after a brief hiatus I return to bring you more stories from the world of me. No, no, don't run away now. You'll like this one - I get injured. Oh, you bunch of sadists, you. :-P

So yes, who's seen those comedy sketches where a man walks straight into a sheet of glass? Something akin to the misfortunes of Johnny Depp in the most recent Charlie and The Chocolate Factory spring to mind here. Well these things aren't merely confined to the realms of comedy, no there really are some of us who are just downright stupid enough to make headfirst contact with a hefty chunk of glass. Such as happened to me this morning when, in my hungover state, I managed to succesfully make my headache ten times worse than it had been when I had awoken when I promptly walked straight into a glass overheard kitchen cupboard door which had been left ajar. Presumably because looking at plates through a sheet of glass is nothing compared to having a direct line of vision to a pile of plates.

Sadly this did not start of a hallucination which would reveal to me the secret of the Flux Capacitor as Back To The Future had led me to believe. Mostly it just casued stars and shiney things to pass across my vision, but then I did get to thinking. Glass. Glass is the unseen killer. Judging by the amount of times I've been startled by sparrows colliding with my windows it is clear that the inability to see glass is pretty much uniform throughout the animal kingdom. Or at the very least in sparrows and hungover people. Either way, this must be stopped.

So I'm going to jump on the media bandwagon and do what all well-adjusted memebers of the community do when they are slightly inconvenienced - start shouting at all available oppurtunities "OMFG THIS MUST BE BANNED IMMEDIATELY... THINK OF THE CHILDREN... IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME YOU ARE A TERRORIST AND A COMMUNIST AND YOU SMELL BAD". So now I am asking all of you lovely people out there who are reading this to stand with me and oppose this invisible menance in our society today. For the greater good we must remove this unseen horror from our lives. It's not as if we'd miss it, infact I believe we would be much better off without it. Look at castles - they never had glass windows and they were full of knights with swords and they all did routines and chorus scenes and other funky shit.

Oh, and you get a free badge too.